It’s time yet again for the article that’s easy for me and fun for you- Fun with Netflix Viewer Reviews! Here’s volume seventeen of people writing really funny Netflix viewer reviews. These are presented completely unedited. Even when you think I might have edited something in or out of the copy, I assure you that I have not.
Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Big Happy Family (2011)
IT WOULLD LOVVE IF IT WAS AVAILABLE !!! MEADA HAS GOOD MOIVES And that one of my favoritee
Un Chien Andalou (1929)
This is a 17 minute silent movie. I don’t consider silent movies to be movies at all. You have to have sound, people talking for it to be a movie. None of this makes any sense at all, but then it probably was not supposed to. Oh, well, it went by very quickly.
Jack and Jill (2011)
In determining priority for shipping and inventory allocation, we give priority to those members who receive the fewest DVDs through our service,¿ N-flix¿s revised policy now reads. The statement specifically warns that heavy renters are more likely to encounter shipping delays and less likely to immediately be sent their top choices. The term they use for this is called “throttling” and it amounts to fraud.
Jason X (2002)
NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!! wast of time my peeps do not wach!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
R. Kelly: Trapped in the Closet: Chapters 1-12 (2005)
Plan 9 from Outer Space meets hip hop…The only thing funnier than watching this is watching R. Kelly’s commentary. (Seriously, do it!) This masterpiece of ego stroking and self-delusion hits you with a wall of bizarre plotlines & amateurish wordsmithing set to a viral, monotonous melody. Fan-damn-tastic! Hi-larious! Mr. Kelly, I swear, we’re laughing *with* you, not at you!
Editor’s Note: Actually, this kind of makes me want to watch it. Here’s a clip:
Life of Pi (2012)
One word review – BORING! ITS NOT AVATAR. Yes, the CGI is very good but to compare this movie to Avatar is an insult. Inconsistant theme. The movie could not decide to be about finding GOD or survival adventure. Some will like it but, if you looking for something with a good story and keep you on the edge of your seat, THIS IS NOT IT.
We Need to Talk About Kevin (2011)
OMG!!!! What did I just watch??? Yes, it will hold your interest. Im sure this has happened before. Acting was excellent, a little too believable. Now.. to address the issue. THIS IS WHAT THE NO QUESTIONS ASKED LEAVE THE BRAT ON THE FIRESTATION DOORSTEP IS FOR!!!! I would have dumped his sorry miserable obnoxious little a@@ off by the second time he crapped his pants! And then after all the mayhem the stupid idiot shows up and coddles him some more? I would have packed my bags, left town and tried to have a life for the first time in 16 years. I just dont get it. Oh well, good movie if you can wade through the implied stupidity of the storyline and actions…
Editor’s Note: I admire this person’s enthusiasm.
Battlefield Earth (2000)
In Oregon, we have legally assisted suicide. In the other 49 states, you can use this movie for the same effect.
Spring Breakers (2012)
Seriously, how could NF tell me I would give this 3.5 stars? This is the WORST movie I have ever seen. I had 0 expectations going into it and was still disappointed. I kept waiting for the story to start and it just never does. There were fleeting moments that kept my interest, but 98% of the movie I was bored and feeling ripped off. To the director’s credit, the movie is aesthetically pleasing and at least now I have Halloween costume ideas. Don’t waste your time. SPRANNNNGG BRAAAAAAAKKKEE BITCHEZZ