Tale of the Tape: Uncle Jesse

The 1980’s were an intense battleground on television. A war raged on throughout most of the decade, with the title of “Best Uncle Jesse” at stake. Who had the edge? Was it Hazzard County’s master of homespun wisdom, Uncle Jesse Duke? Or was it the in-your-face rocker who made the ladies swoon, Uncle Jesse Katsopolis? This is something that can only be decided with the use of a tale of the tape.

A Stroll Down Memory Lane

Recently, I’ve been labeled the Monarch of Muppet by my friend Marty. “Nobody likes the Muppets as much as you do”, he says. And I really don’t deny it. I’ve already mentioned that when I was a kid, I wanted to be Kermit when I grew up (which is part of why I love Hot Fuzz so much- Nicholas Angel/Simon Pegg confesses to the same thing). All of this Muppet talk has served as my madeleine, prompting my very own Remembrance of Things Past. I’m sure Freud would have a field day with this. Here are some of my earliest TV and movie memories.

Ten Fictional TV Businesses that I Wish Were Real

Presented in no particular order…

1. Shitty Wok, South Park

Why yes, generic Chinese restaurant guy stereotype. As a matter of fact, I would like to try the Shitty Chicken.

2. Satriale’s, The Sopranos

Knowing what we all know about what went on in that place, I’m not sure I could enjoy a sandwich in there. I really don’t want my capicola being sliced on the same slicer that was used to hack up hundreds of corpses. But the ambiance alone would make it a worthwhile trip.