Let me assk you a question. How would you like to see a list that’s sure to send you over the moon? Not only that, butt it might even make you crack a smile. Don’t get left behind, lest you bottom out and look like a dumbass. By now, you’re probably wondering what’s the butt of all these jokes, these ass puns. Here are the nine best television butt antics.
Charlie Kelly’s Butt Dance, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
There’s so much to love about this scene. Charlie Kelly is one of TV’s great lovable dumbasses, so it’s only fitting that he’d be the ass-dancing jester. The rest of the gang is also sufficiently ridiculous with their interests, ergo their egging Charlie on. And the implication that Charlie’s butt dance is an event that occurs regularly is the cherry on top of the sundae. They even have a song about it, for crying out loud.
I am not a Butt, The Simpsons
The earliest clip on this list comes courtesy of renowned mooner, Bart Simpson. The likeness between Bart’s butt and Richard Nixon is eerie, and it’s a classic moment from a beloved TV show.
The Moonening, Baywatch
This is the most amazing piece of TV butt chicanery ever. Apparently, during season three of Baywatch, some kid in the background was immortalized forever when he mooned two lifeguards running along the beach. It even appeared in slow-motion, which makes it infinitely more hilarious.
It was a One in a Million Shot, Doc, Seinfeld
Seinfeld once dedicated an entire episode to butt antics, with most of them tying directly in to a mysterious personalized license plate labeled “ASS MAN” erroneously delivered to Kramer, and the similarities in every story told to proctologists. I’ll never look at fusilli pasta or Jerry Stiller the same way again.
Suck My Balls, South Park
This entire list could be easily be comprised of Cartman showing his ass. The most obvious one to include here is the very first episode, when Cartman gets an anal probe. But my personal favorite is when the boys go to fourth grade, make a pact to moon the new teacher (Ms. Choksondik), and everyone bails except for Cartman. He’s the only one left mooning the teacher as he tells her “Suck my balls!” The best part is when he realizes that his friends have hung him out to dry as the only one carrying out the pact. The South Park official website has the clip here.
You Call That a Pressed Ham?, Futurama
Just like Charlie Kelly, Philip J. Fry is another of TV’s great lovable dumbasses. In the “Future Stock” episode, Fry aligns himself with a sleazy unfrozen 80s businessman, and even starts dressing like a slimy 80s Wall Street jockey. But the better clothes and attempt at refinement don’t prevent him from showing off his ass-ets to Mom.
Anus Anus Anus NOOOOOO!, Bob’s Burgers
One of my favorite parts of Bob’s Burgers is that it’s never afraid to get completely weird. Such was the case when an entire episode was dedicated to Linda’s sister painting animal anuses for a homespun local art crawl. It eventually drove Linda crazy, which led to this amazing and surreal song reminiscent of Dumbo, of all things:
Prosthetic Posterior, King of the Hill
King of the Hill is the only show that could plausibly combine the shame of having no ass, extreme modesty, and a lawn mower race, and make it funny. At the center of the scene is Hank and his embarrassment, forced to use a prosthetic posterior- a fake ass- to reduce his back pain in order to win a lawn mower race. This picture sort of says it all:
Shot in the Ass, The Sopranos
It would appear that a recurring theme in butt antics scenes is that a bungling buffoon will be involved. In the case of season 6 from The Sopranos, it was Bobby Baccalieri. Bobby had been commissioned by a rapper to shoot him in the “fleshy part of the thigh,” a move that the rapper believed would boost his credibility. Instead, Bobby shoots him in the butt.
3 responses to “The Nine Best Television Butt Antics”
HA! This is brilliant, good work!
Pingback: Reading Digest: President Wolfcastle Edition | Dead Homer Society