Remember the (Awesome TV Day That Is) The Sabbath and Keep It Holy

Today, I’m going to give you all a little snapshot into my neuroses. It’s almost as neurotic as my theater ritual. You see, I punt away an entire day of my week, every week, no matter what month or year it is. I remember Sunday, and I keep it holy… because of television.

The Nine Best Television Butt Antics

Let me assk you a question. How would you like to see a list that’s sure to send you over the moon? Not only that, butt it might even make you crack a smile. Don’t get left behind, lest you bottom out and look like a dumbass. By now, you’re probably wondering what’s the butt of all these jokes, these ass puns. Here are the nine best television butt antics.

12 Fake Futurama Products That I Would Eat or Drink

There are loads of things to like about Futurama. Taken at face value, the show is hilarious, it’s smart, and the people who make it clearly have a lot of fun making it. One of my favorite aspects of the show, like The Simpsons before it, is how much humor is buried in their surroundings. Blink and you might miss a company name, a street name, or a product name. Some of my favorite humor on the show comes from the food and beverages they consume in New New York. Here are twelve fake food and beverages I’d eat or drink. Wimmy wam wam wozzle!

The Hermes Conrad “Sweet” Quote Cloud

Hermes Conrad is one of the great sources for running gags on Futurama. He’s always referencing green snakes and sugarcane fields. He’s always keeping an eye out for his beloved manwich. He almost always refers to his wife, LaBarbara, only as “wife”.  He seems to end up naked more than anyone else on the show. But the best running Hermes gag is what could only be known as his catchphrase–”Sweet _______ of ________!” It always rhymes, it involves bizarre objects, and they’re placed in bizarre locations. Here they are, all in a quote cloud:

Great Abominable Snowmen from Entertainment History

Occasionally when screenwriters run out of monstrous things to include in their cold-weather scenes, they’re forced to dig deep into their well of creativity. Sometimes, they’ll use polar bears. Other times, they use hypothermia. Still others, they use cabin fever. Perhaps the most underused scary cold-weather thing device is the yeti, a.k.a. the abominable snowman. Here are nine instances of the yeti in pop culture:

The 12 Best Heads to Appear in Jars in Futurama

Good news, everyone! Futurama returns this week. It all begins Thursday night when the second series since the show’s rebirth will air on Comedy Central. Part of the show’s charm is the group of running jokes- French being a dead language in the future, people saying “aks” instead of “ask” and “X-mas” instead of “Christmas”, etc. One of my favorite running gags is the series of historical figures from the past, present, and future (meaning, time between the year 2000 and the year 3000) whose heads are preserved in jars. Here are the twelve best:

17 TV Characters Who Probably Have Venereal Diseases

We’ve all seen these characters- the clichéd character whose monstrous sexual desires can’t be quenched. But where are the consequences? Let’s face reality. Many of our favorite TV characters probably had sexually transmitted diseases. Here are seventeen TV characters who most likely have felt the burn and/or had to use a very special shampoo:

1. Larry Dalliapoulos, Three’s Company
He was the scourge of the Regal Beagle. And his clearly defined womanizing role was key to the show’s plot. How many times did he rope Jack into the highjinx, only  to have Jack find himself in the odd position of denying his heterosexuality to Mr. and Mrs. Roper, or Mr. Furley?

The 10 Best Cartoon Dogs in TV History

Dogs are, in a word, great. They’re the only creature on earth (not related to me) whose feces I’d consider picking up. Of course, TV has had some great dogs. But everyone knows about Lassie, Eddie (Frasier), and even Apollo and Zeus (Magnum P.I.). Nobody really sings the praises of the cartoon dogs. Here are the ten best.

1. Seymour, Futurama

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“I like you, Seymour. You’re not constantly judging me like all the other dogs.” (pause) “Are you?” I have never wanted to own a TV dog more than Seymour. The end of that whole episode, where Seymour gets old waiting for Fry to return, might just be the saddest thing I’ve ever seen on TV. Um… pardon me, I have some dust in my eye. *sniff*

Battle of the (Fake) Bands: The 10 Best TV/Movie Musicians

Will the Partridge Family make the cut? No. No they won't.

Eight Movies That Would be Better With Futurama Characters

Good news, everyone! Here are eight movies that would’ve been better with Futurama characters in them.

1. Leaving Las Vegas starring Bender Bending Rodriguez

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